He who deliberates fully before taking a step will spend his entire life on one leg.
~Chinese proverb.
Over the past seven years, I have seen many of my clients struggle with decision-making. Some always wait until the last minute to complete a project or make a decision, so the deadline decides for them. Others have piles of paper everywhere because they fear if the filing system is not "just right" they'll never find what they need again. Sound familiar?
So how do we make decision-making less daunting? Some ideas:
1. Pick something you would like to have. Focus on the experience, not the thing. For example, if you want an organized closet, focus on the experience that an organized closet will bring. Your focus could be on how easy it is to get ready for work because you can find everything you need.
2. Quiet any busy thoughts, like "But what if I change my mind?" or "But what about...?" We always have objections about why we cannot create what we want. Sometimes those objections help us avoid pitfalls. However, not every pitfall can or should be avoided. Pitfalls can help us refine our process and our goals. Consider them gifts.
3. Approach the process like an inverted triangle. Start with the big, obvious things. When the larger items are out of the way, get more detailed. Avoid overthinking each item as it comes up. Focus on the big picture.
Let's use the organized closet as an example. Begin with a rough sort: Use large bins with big labels for what stays, what goes elsewhere in the house, what goes out completely, and trash. Once all of the items have been sorted, group like items (dress shirts, jeans, jackets, etc.). After grouping like items, put them back in the closet where you want them. This simple sorting might be sufficient, or you might like to refine your system, say, by color-coding within each group.
4. Embrace help when you get stuck. Support from others can keep you on track. Allowing someone else to see your less-than-perfect parts will help free you from the embarrassment or shame that keeps you stuck.
5. Trust and keep going. Have faith in yourself. This is the biggest step. Use the momentum to make the next decision.
When we walk, we don’t deliberate before each step: first right foot, now left foot, now right foot, etc. We trust that each step will be just fine. Sometimes we trip or even fall, but we recover. Decisions can be the same. In the morning, we might weigh in about what shoes to wear. We might even consider whether they are a good choice for the day ahead, but we cannot get stuck in the closet because we can’t decide what shoes to wear.
